How to waste your life

With the help of my fraudulent resume, I recently made it through to the final round of interviews for a job that I’m capable of doing (I never pretended to be a surgeon or anything dangerous) but not technically qualified for.

I was a shoe in.

I was their favorite candidate.

This job was mine.

I spent three days reading up on how to be awesome at the job. I read blogs and ebooks by people in the industry.

I spent three days planning how to spend my first pay check.

I spent three days making complicated spreadsheets with complex formulas that told me how soon I would be out of debt and how much money I would have saved by the end of the year.

I spent three days figuring out what I would do during my first week to dazzle and impress everyone. A necessity when you don’t want them questioning your ability.

I didn’t get the job.