I woke up really early this morning. I went to bed really early last night so I got a good, full night’s sleep.
And as I got up and made my morning cup of tea, I started to think about how my Sunday mornings were when I was still drinking.
I loved my Saturday night binges. My husband and I (he’s not an alcoholic) would stay up until 4 and 5 am drinking and talking and listening to music… And I would always drink more than I really wanted to. I would be wasted, and pouring myself shot after shot. I would think to myself, I’m already hammered, I don’t need this.
But I would have it anyway.
I could never sleep off a hangover. As soon as my blood sugar dropped and I woke up, I was up for the day. It didn’t matter how exhausted or sick I was. I was up.
Sometimes I would stay exhausted and sick well into Monday, too.
Sometimes I would feel a bit better so I would drink on Sunday night. But I tried not to do that too much.
I hate hangovers.
And when I woke up really early on this Sunday morning, I fell in love with how early I went to sleep last night.
Even in the city, if I get up early enough, I wake up to the sunrise that I can see from my office, and the reflection of the sun from the buildings facing my living room. I can hear nothing but birds. If I sit in the right spot I can see the lake. I don’t watch TV in the morning.
I’ve fallen in love with how early I got up this morning.
Even though most people wouldn’t get it.
Because I’m still young. Many people my age are just finishing up school.
But I feel partied out.
Even when I was drinking I wasn’t a social drinker. I only went to bars when I had run out of booze in the house. I preferred to drink alone. Sometimes with my husband. Sometimes with a small group of friends.
I can’t stand nightclubs.
I don’t understand the sober people who go to them with their friends as their designated driver.
Maybe I just don’t love anyone enough, but I would tell them to get a cab.
Nightclubs are disgusting.
I woke up and thought of the thousands, if not millions, of people who are waking up this morning feeling sick… And ashamed… And thirsty… And hungry…
And I thanked God that this Sunday, today, I’m not one of them.
Honestatis Veritas 
Thanks for the reminder. My favorite thing is realizing it’s Sunday morning (or any morning) and I’m not hung over. I’m also not feeling regrets for something I said or did. I’m not feeling hopeless because I just can’t stop drinking. Maybe everything else is not going as planned but I’m sober and not hung over.
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Amen to that!
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I understand how you feel about nightclubs and going out and drinking. I think it’s disgusting and stupid. you don’t even get to enjoy your drink, and end up paying a bomb for it. As for waking up with a hangover, ugh. I feel you mate, I feel you.
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One of the things that I love about being sober is that I wake up in the morning hangover free. I can take an early walk or attend church. I have started taking an early Saturday Pilates class because I can get to it. I don’t go to bars anymore. I loved them, but they are too dangerous for me. Congrats! I totally get it.
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